Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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