i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize