I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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