$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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