oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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