New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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