sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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