Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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