Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize