i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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