ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Operation Purity has been aborted
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize