Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize