i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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