So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize