Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
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I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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