Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize