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Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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