so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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