well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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