I bet he comes in French.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize