Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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