u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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