Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i came on her dog
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no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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