I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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