i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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