butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
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I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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