i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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