my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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