I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize