you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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