You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize