I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Less talking, more tequila
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize