I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
how does that bad decision feel?
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