the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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