If that was your dad, he is hot
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm really busy with my period
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