Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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