I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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