You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize