So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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