i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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