I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize