is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he fucked my hip out of place.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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