That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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