you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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