She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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