I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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