It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize