i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
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At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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