Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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