wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize